TALES of the VALIANT
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  1. Polearms!


    The 1st Edition of AD&D had tons of variations on polearms. To be fair, history has seen a lot of different versions of sharp-thing-on-a-stick, but it seemed like AD&D tried to come up with statistics for every single one of them.

    The other day I was watching a video, and for some reason it made me think of that.



    So I just had to make my own lyrics...

    Ain't no Glaive Gonna Hold My Guisarme Down
    ...

    Updated February 25th, 2017 at 22:34 by Phystus

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  2. Reunited: A Song For the Season

    Awhile back the party did a wintertime scouting mission to the Howling Hills, part of the realm of the Lich Queen. The party’s bard wrote a song about it.

    Scouting In A Winter Wonderland
    (To the tune of Walking In A Winter Wonderland)

    Sleigh bells ring, are you listening?
    An undead horse, bones a-glistening
    A horrible sight, we're frightened tonight
    Scouting in a winter wonderland

    Through the hills we are creeping
    While
    ...
  3. Elderly Fire Elemental

    The other day I was perusing the Monster Manual for a suitable foe for the party, and my eye wandered across the listing for "Elder Fire Elemental". But for whatever reason, my brain read it as "Elderly Fire Elemental", which made me giggle. The idea kept bouncing around in my skull for a couple days, so I knew I had to write it down.

    So without further ado, here it is. Enjoy!

    Fire Elemental, Elderly
    Huge Elemental
    Hit Dice:
    ...
    Tags: humor, monster
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